Losing a loved one is never easy, and the grief can feel overwhelming at times. When my ex-husband passed away, it brought up a mix of emotions I didn’t expect. We were no longer together, but his loss hit me deeply. It reminded me of the love we once shared and the memories we created. In this post, I want to share my journey through grief, how I’ve been coping, and what it feels like to heal after losing someone who was once an important part of my life.
A Kind and Generous Person
My ex-husband was the kind of person you don’t forget. He came from a family full of love and kindness, and he carried those same traits with him. He was a kind, generous, and fun-loving person. Above all, he was passionate about being a father. He adored his three sons and always wanted to be the best dad he could be.
When we were together, he also embraced the role of being a stepdad to my two young daughters. He gave his best and truly wanted to be part of their lives. It’s heartbreaking that he didn’t get to see them graduate from college, something he would have been so proud of.
Losing a loved one like him is never easy. He was a lover of the outdoors, and mountain biking and hiking were his greatest passions. He spent so much of his free time doing what he loved. After his passing, we decided to spread his ashes at our favorite hiking trail in Cold Canyon in Winters, California. We felt it was the perfect way to honor his memory—a place where we could always feel his adventurous spirit.
How I Lost My Loved One
I’ll never forget the day I got the phone call that changed everything. It was Labor Day weekend in 2021, just nine months after my ex-husband and I finalized our divorce. The call came from his son in Baltimore, which surprised me since we were no longer together. His son shared heartbreaking news that my ex-husband had passed away during a mountain biking accident.
Mountain biking was his lifelong passion, something he had loved since childhood. That weekend, he had traveled to Baltimore to visit one of his sons and decided to hit the trails, as he often did. Tragically, while riding, he went over a cliff, crashed, and severely injured his spine. He lost consciousness and was rushed to the hospital. Despite the doctors’ efforts, he slipped into a coma and passed away a few hours later.
Losing a loved one, even an ex, is incredibly difficult. The news left me in shock, and I couldn’t believe he was gone. His death reminded me of the vibrant person he was and how much he loved his hobbies, especially mountain biking. That day will always stay with me as a painful reminder of how quickly everything can change.
The Pain and Complexity of Losing a Loved One
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things anyone can go through. When I lost my ex-husband, it felt surreal. His death impacted me deeply, even though our marriage had ended. It brought back memories of the life we once shared and made me realize how fragile life is.
Grief is complicated. At first, I felt shock and disbelief. It was hard to accept that someone who was once such a big part of my life was gone. I kept replaying the moments I had with him, the good and the bad. Losing him reminded me of how important it is to cherish the people in our lives while we have them.
What makes losing a loved one so challenging is that it’s not just about their absence—it’s about all the things that come with it. I found myself thinking about the missed conversations, the what-ifs, and the things I wished I had said or done differently. Losing someone teaches you that healing takes time, and grief often brings lessons that stay with you long after the pain has softened.
Reflections on Life and Loss
Even after more than three years, I still think about my ex-husband and have a hard time believing he’s gone. He had so many dreams and plans for his retirement, but he never got the chance to live that next chapter.
Reflecting on his life and loss has taught me to cherish the time we have and the people we love. Losing a loved one leaves a lasting impact, and while time helps heal some of the pain, the memories and lessons stay with us forever. Life is unpredictable, and his story is a powerful reminder to live fully and appreciate every moment.
Check out my other post about losing another family member, our beloved pet Coco, as well as our dear friends Bill and Barbara Smith.
