Growing up with overprotective parents shaped a lot of who I am today. At first, it felt like they were just being caring, but as I got older, I realized how much their constant worry and control affected my independence. Overprotective parenting might seem helpful in keeping kids safe, but it can also create challenges. From small things like making decisions to bigger life choices, I often felt unsure of myself.
In this post, I’ll share how overprotective parenting impacted my life and what I’ve learned along the way.
Overprotective Parenting in Korean Culture
In Korean culture, parents tend to be highly protective, and this comes from deeply rooted traditions and historical factors. The emphasis on protecting children is often tied to family honor and ensuring future success. Because gender roles are so important in Korean society, this protection often leads to strict rules, especially for girls.
As the oldest daughter in a family with three brothers and one sister, I experienced this overprotective parenting firsthand. My parents’ approach reflected the cultural values that shaped the way many Korean children were raised. These cultural expectations played a big role in how I grew up and the experiences I had as a child.
The Impact on My Social Life
During high school, my parents followed traditional overprotective parenting rules, especially when it came to dating and socializing. My sister and I felt these rules much more than my brothers did. We had strict guidelines about who we could date and when we were allowed to start dating or hanging out with friends.
When we moved to the US, the restrictions became even stricter, making it even harder for us to experience normal social situations or make new friends. Overprotective parenting affected my ability to connect with others and feel confident in social settings. Over time, being in large gatherings became overwhelming, and I started to withdraw from dating and social activities. It wasn’t until I went to college that I met my only best friend, Rosa, who remains my close friend to this day.
Additionally, as I mentioned in my previous post, “My Family’s Immigrant Life,” my siblings and I had to take on work responsibilities from a young age. In hindsight, I see that my parents used this as another way to shield us from outside influences and ensure our safety.
Navigating Freedom in College
Leaving for college was my first taste of freedom after years of overprotective parenting. I finally had the chance to explore dating and social activities without the strict rules I grew up with. However, this freedom came with its own challenges. As I began to focus more on socializing, my grades dropped, and I lost interest in studying.
Unlike the typical college experience of carefree fun, mine felt very different. While others enjoyed their independence, I struggled with confusion and uncertainty. The effects of overprotective parenting still lingered, making it hard for me to find a balance between the freedom of college life and making important decisions. Instead of carefree years, this time became one of personal struggle and deep reflection.
Even during college, my parents continued to hold onto their dreams for my future. They wanted me to follow a path in the medical field, like my brothers, which brought pride to our family. But with my grades slipping, I found myself searching for my own interests and passions. This only made my parents more protective, as they worried about my future.
How It Hindered My Growth
This overprotective parenting made it harder for me to learn important life skills that would help me lead a more independent and productive life. Even though my parents wanted to protect me, their actions unintentionally slowed down my growth.
With fewer chances to explore my own interests or face challenges, it became difficult for me to adapt and learn from my experiences. Although they meant well, it often felt like they didn’t trust me to make my own decisions. This constant feeling left me questioning my abilities and hurt my self-confidence.
Overprotective parenting also affected my social and emotional development. Since I wasn’t exposed to many social situations, I found it hard to form connections and understand social dynamics. This impacted not only my relationships with others but also my ability to connect with those close to me.
Looking back, I can see the value in my parents’ care. However, being overly protected made it harder for me to be fully prepared for adulthood.
Overprotective Parenting on Our Relationship
Growing up with overprotective parenting put a strain on my relationship with my parents. Their constant control and strict rules left little room for open communication or trust. I often felt frustrated by how much they limited my independence, and it became harder to have honest conversations with them. As I got older, expressing my thoughts or making my own choices felt nearly impossible, which created an emotional distance between us.
This tension followed us into adulthood, making it difficult to truly connect. The strict upbringing made it hard for us to understand each other, which affected our ability to relate as individuals. Building mutual respect became a challenge. Even though my parents were trying to protect me, their overprotective parenting style deeply affected our relationship. Overcoming these barriers required conscious effort from both sides.
Additionally, their lack of trust in my decisions leaves me constantly trying to prove myself, yet always falling short. It’s an ongoing struggle between their overprotection and my need for independence, often leaving me feeling isolated and inadequate, uncertain of my own abilities.
The Impact of Overprotective Parenting
Overprotective parenting had a significant effect on my life, especially in how it shaped my confidence and relationship with my parents. While their intentions were good, the constant control made it difficult for me to grow and trust my own decisions. Over time, this approach created feelings of frustration and distance.
Despite this, I’ve come to understand that their actions were rooted in love. Moving forward, I’ve learned the importance of balancing protection and independence. This understanding has guided me in raising my children and improving my relationship with my parents.
