In Korea, women traditionally keep their last names after marriage. This is different from many other countries, where women often take their husband’s name. The practice reflects Korea’s deep respect for family heritage and lineage. Historically, Korean society viewed women as joining their husband’s family but not adopting the family name. While this may seem unusual for a country with strong traditional values, there is a intriguing reason behind this tradition. In this post, we’ll explore why Korean women keep their last names and how this practice is evolving.
My Experience With Keeping My Last Name
In both of my marriages, I chose to keep my last name because it was my belief in being independent and how I identify myself. My first husband, who was Korean, believed in the tradition of keeping the family name intact. In my second marriage, my husband was American, but he never asked me to change my last name.
Looking back, I realize that in both cases, my decision made them feel like I wasn’t fully committed to the marriage. It created some tension, especially when we had children with my first husband. I wanted to give one of my daughters my Korean last name, but that didn’t go over well. He felt disrespected, and in the end, we decided to give both girls my Korean first name as their middle name instead.
Even though I grew up in the U.S., I never really understood why women changed their last names here. It never felt like the right choice for me. I’ve always been happy to keep the Korean tradition of keeping my maiden name. It’s part of who I am, but I realize now how deeply this cultural difference influenced my relationships.
Korean Women and Last Name Traditions
In traditional Korean society, women kept their last names after marriage. Their identity stayed tied to their own family, not their husband’s. Even when a woman married and joined her husband’s family, she couldn’t take on his last name.
The tradition of keeping maiden names came from the belief that women weren’t worthy of carrying their husband’s last name. In Korea, the family name symbolized heritage and lineage, passed down through the male line. People viewed women as caretakers, not equal members of the family’s lineage. Although they were part of the family, society saw them as outsiders to its heritage. This is why women traditionally kept their maiden names after marriage.
Changing Tradition of Last Names in Korea
In the past, Korean society required women to keep their maiden names after marriage. It was simply the tradition, and they had to follow it. The practice wasn’t a personal choice but a societal expectation.
Today, however, the reason behind keeping their last names has changed. More Korean women are now choosing to retain their maiden names as a way to honor their family heritage and assert their personal identity. This decision is no longer dictated by tradition but is a reflection of their independence and autonomy.
This shift is a result of evolving views on gender equality. Women in Korea are now empowered to make personal decisions without being bound by outdated customs. For many modern Korean women, keeping their last names has become a symbol of strength, independence, and self-expression.
Changing Last Names: Korean Women in the U.S.
Unlike most Korean women living in Korea, many Korean women in the U.S. follow the American custom of changing their last names after marriage. This includes my mother, my sister, and my three sister-in-laws.
When my mother moved to the U.S., she embraced this tradition and changed her last name to my father’s, adapting to the new culture. Similarly, my sister-in-laws, who also relocated to the U.S., chose to adopt their husbands’ last names, just like many American women do.
For many Korean women in the U.S., changing their last names is a way to blend into American culture while still holding on to their Korean roots. Though keeping maiden names is a strong tradition in Korea, living in the U.S. often leads women to follow the common practice of taking their husband’s last name.
Korean Women and the Right to Choose Their Last Names
In the end, the decision about last names for Korean women, whether in Korea or the U.S., is not just about tradition or custom. It’s about a woman’s right to choose how she wants to define herself. The choice to keep or change a last name reflects personal freedom and independence.
For many Korean women, it’s not about following cultural expectations but about making a decision that feels right for them and their unique journey. It’s an opportunity to honor their heritage, assert their identity, and embrace the freedom to shape their own path.
For a deeper understanding of the role of women in Korea, check out my post where I explain how it has evolved over time!
